Do not allow fear into your life. Fear kills your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. Fear kills you entirely and leaves no traces of elements that can revive you. In this regard, you are only a dead walking living creature. I have always preferred a physical wound on any part of my body instead of an emotional wound. When fear kills all in you, it leaves effects like emotional injury, psychological scars, mental disturbances, unstable relationships and conditions that no one can see and help you.
I have had a fear of so many things in life. Fear of being accepted, fear of falling in love, fear to speak in class or express myself in public, fear to connect with others, and fear of feeling safe. I was always afraid of what others might think about me. I was so uncertain of my life, how things will turn out taking reference from my poor background. I used to shy away from social opportunities because the fear in me had always instructed my instincts that I do not deserve anything better. I was always afraid to try something new apart from the life and things I know or experienced. So many anxieties clouded my life out of fear. And these took away the chances of me becoming who I wanted to be because the fear in me always made me feel vulnerable to every situation.
I once thought it was a normal life to be afraid. Until recent times, I came to the realization that life situations give birth to fear. These Life circumstances come in different forms: it can be poverty, certain sicknesses, disappointments, accidents, hunger, lack of access to opportunities and the like. When these life conditions strike on you, you begin to see and perceive things in a peculiar way that give way to fear. And when fear enters, it kills all in you, and you end up being totally vulnerable. This is my story, and I know a lot of people are living with anxiety or fear in our societies as a result of diverse life circumstances.
During the early stages of my life, I have seen and experienced extreme poverty. In my home, there were days we ate wild vegetable soup with leftover maize flour gathered from the grinding mill. There were days we go to bed without food, and my mama tells me “God will provide you with food in your sleep”. As a young girl, I never knew or seen pad until my high school days when a friend shared with me. I was only taught by mama how to use rags during mensuration. We could not afford for a pad at that time. There were days we bathed without soap. I can still remember those worn out sleepers of mine, which never left my foot for months.
Also, at the age of twelve, I fell sick, where it turns out later that I needed surgery. This particular surgery changed my life completely. I started living with a metal implant called “complete hip replacement” at the age of twenty-four and will be living with it my entire life. In total, I had seven surgeries. Among these, five times in Ghana and two in Germany. No doctor wanted to give me that implantation. Because, according to them, it is typical for people who are sixty or above years of age to have such surgery due to its implications.
Can you imagine being poor, underprivileged and having had a sickness that demanded expensive treatment? And can you also imagine the depression and emotional trauma in me as a young girl growing up with a future? This was the genesis of my fear. It followed me everywhere I found myself. It never stopped whispering in my ears that nothing will ever change in your life. Fear made me see myself as less of a person and deserving nothing more in life. You can never gain access to live without fighting that fear within. And it is only you who can resist it sometimes. Because it is a feeling in you, as Napoleon Hill indicated “Fears are nothing more than a state of mind”. I fought the fear in me. You want to know how? Keep reading, feel free to ask any question. As I continue to share the story, I will also share how I overcame fear.