At first, I thought I didn’t matter at all, and I want to say that if you too ever feel that way, it is alright. During my early days as a teenager, my voice was too trivial to be heard. I didn’t find meaning to the words of inspiration I accord to myself. So then, I kept searching for robust and more relevant voices that will speak and assure me that my voice actually matters after all. However, I don’t blame myself too much because growing up as a rural girl, I wasn’t fortunate enough to find a role model in my neighborhood.
Working with women’s groups in Kpachi for four months taught me a lot of lessons. Even though I observed and have been associated with similar challenges in my own community, but this was way too extreme and, until date, I still bear with them. Kpachi is one of the communities I admire their zeal and hopefulness in a better tomorrow. It has a population of about 577 inhabitants. Their settlement can be described as clustered. Despite living close to other significant communities, they are marginalized when it comes to access to social amenities such as water supply, electricity, and road network. The absence of these and many other social amenities hinder the development of the community, and it is a major worry to the residents.
Marriage is one of the passages of life celebrated among the Bimoba people since it is recognized as one most important rite in one’s life. The role of marriage among the Bimoba people cannot be underestimated. Unmarried adults are not given full recognition in the society for reasons tied to cultural norms, social values and traditions. Getting married gives people social prestige and reverence in the community. Marriage in the Bimoba society cements togetherness and plays the role of bringing two families or clans together in union. In respect of this, there are different forms of marriage arrangements including;
According to research findings by J.J Meij and others in 2007, the exact origin of Bimobas is not well defined. However, all sources and oral history stated that they originated from east and west Africa, particularly from Burkina Faso towards the end of Shilluk reign, 1500 AD in the 16th century. Up to now, there is no precise and actual time when this happened.
Today as I sat down to reflect, I ended up having more questions than answers. Maybe someone out there might be able to help me out. Why can’t we be open-minded and speak about sex? Why is everyone quiet about it, including myself? How long is this silence going to last? Moreover, how many more girls do we want to see in this situation: school drop out, single parenting and many others? A visit to my hometown, and having had a close interaction with this young single mother and a school drop out triggered my reflections today.
I had great childhood memories only in the rural area, memories that can never depart from me.
Sometimes you need to stop complaining about the situation and appreciate life. Staying positive paves the way for one to see opportunities instead of limitations. While Lydia was confronted with fear, her Godfather told a story, which intended to encourage her to appreciate and embrace life with a positive attitude. It goes like, “When I was a high school boy, most of my classmates were from well-to-do families. I sometimes felt as a teenager that life was unfair, and mine could have been better too.
Do not allow fear into your life. Fear kills your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. Fear kills you entirely and leaves no traces of elements that can revive you. In this regard, you are only a dead walking living creature. I have always preferred a physical wound on any part of my body instead of an emotional wound. When fear kills all in you, it leaves effects like emotional injury, psychological scars, mental disturbances, unstable relationships and conditions that no one can see and help you.
These are some of the things I reflect on every day, and I want to use that to inspire you.
It doesn’t matter where you began, it doesn’t matter how you started or what you are going through, but it does matter what God is doing in your life. I encourage you to look at what God has given you and use it to help humanity. The meaning of life is something you create day after day with your actions and thoughts. Always enquire what you can acquire, and how to move forward, and stop yourself from blaming other people if things aren’t the way you would like them to be. What exactly living life to the “fullest” looks like is up to you.
Growing up, life circumstances have taught me diverse lessons. These lessons have shaped the way I think, perceive things and consequently how I do them. Among the lessons, I share three of them.
Firstly, I have learned to be the owner of my story. You can never own what someone else experienced or possess what is theirs. You can only attribute your success stories and experiences through your contact and connection with other people. But that personal encounters belong to you and only you alone.